Return. You Were Supposed to Return.

(That's a lyric from OK Go's "Return", an excellent song).

I'm feeling compelled to share my journal for today. Mainly because I'm feeling compelled to type it instead of write it, but I assume there's a reason for that.

Throughout the past few weeks, our dorm has lost much of the joy and unconditional love that it had at the beginning of the year. It seems that as we grow more comfortable with each other, we grow further apart. Why is this? I doubt I'll ever understand. However, this made the dorm environment less than 'joyful', and less than enjoyable. It got to the point where I would go to the music rooms or Library just to avoid going home.

But on Reading Week, I was blessed enough to be able to go on a tour of Québec and Ontario with Redeemer's Concert Choir. I had been excited for a while, but I had not fully understood what it would mean. I knew there would be a lot of work involved, but I assumed that by the end of the week relationships would have deteriorated much like my dorm. After all, seeing people every moment of every day for a week -- sleeping with them, being on the bus for hours, practicing in small areas, changing side by side, eating with them -- can be fairly grueling.

Words can never express how wrong I was. The people in Redeemer's Choir are unlike any other people I have ever met. Every person, no matter how tired or emotional made time for others. Everyone was joyful all the time. People allowed their toes to be stepped on, and I didn't hear one complaint all week. People showed unconditional love at all times.

I've never felt anything like I felt on choir tour. I haven't grown up in the church like a lot of people here at Redeemer, and my view of Christians has been tainted by a lot of past experiences. But if someone were to ask me to point out someone who truly lives out their faith, I would be forced to point to the other 34 students and 1 director in my Choir.

To be a part of it has been a great blessing... Even if I am just a tenor :)

The Superego, the Ego and the ID...

I enjoy Psychology class. I also enjoy Freud. In fact, I enjoy a lot of things! Like coffee. I enjoy deep conversations over coffee. I enjoy deep conversations. I enjoy deep conversations about God. I enjoy God!

Last night my dorm and I were discussing whether sarcasm is a good thing or not. One of my dorm mates claimed it is not God-honouring. I claimed that God knows the spirit behind it being a joke.

This led to a deep conversation about whether or not God has a sense of humour (and don't bring up the platypus). I sincerely think, if Jesus Christ were in the flesh among us today he would be the funniest man ever. My friend Abby can see humour in certain parts of the Bible. Like when God claimed it wasn't good for man to be alone. Picture what He was thinking! And when Jesus tells the fishermen to try the other side of the boat. The fisherman must have thought He was insane.  But I imagine inside that man was probably killing himself with laughter.

Weblog: web·log (wěb'lôg', -lŏg'), "blog"; n.

"A website that displays in chronological order the postings by one or more individuals and usually has links to comments on specific postings. " (American Heritage)

I don't like blogs, as a concept. To me, they seem a place to complain and whine. In general, they seem like fairly negative things that waste time and energy.

However, since my New Years' resolution was to journal daily, I thought I might be more likely to hold myself accountable if I knew people were watching.

Even if it turns out that only creepy people and stalkers read this, I will still feel obligated to write. And I will try with all my heart to not waste my time and energy with negative postings.

With that said, my post today will be to share a song that has greatly impacted me this year. I encourage you to look up the song/video. This band has been through a lot and they deserve a lot more credit then they get. No worries if you haven't heard of them, not many people have. But seriously, they are wonderful.

Winter -- by Bayside

When Winter falls
Next year, I'll be holding on
To anything nailed down
As for being patient, with fate and all, it's getting old.
And my mind is slowly changing
I'm calling all my oldest friends,
Saying "sorry for this mess we're in,"
And I'm waiting, waiting
For the Sun to come and melt this snow,wash away the pain, and give me back control, control.

An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.

Should we still set his plate?
Should we still save his chair?
Should we still buy him gifts?
And if we don't, did we not care?
It makes you think about the life you've led,
The shit you've done, things you've said.
And it's grounding, grounding.
I've been feeling three feet tall this month,
Hardly indestructible.
But the snow melts, and the rhythm still goes on.

An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.
Friends stay side by side,
In life and death you've always stole my heart,
You'll always mean so much to me, it's hard to believe this

These nights in vans,
These nights in bars,
Don't mean a thing with empty hearts, with empty hearts.

An angel got his wings,
And we'll hold our heads up knowing that he's fine.
We'd all be lucky to have a love like that in a lifetime.
Friends stay side by side,
In life and death you've always stole my heart,
You've always meant so much to me, it's hard to believe
So much to me, it's hard to believe
So much to me, it's hard to believe this.